chixa_love (chixa_love) wrote in 00_angels_00,
chixa_love
chixa_love
00_angels_00

 I went into recovery/therapy this winter (Jan-mai 2007) got better and hadn't any slip ups until TONIGHT. I just can't stand all the fat on me and i'm seeing all these triggering things around me and its driving me nuts!! I feel very depress since I stop taking my meds (antidepression) so when I got home, nobody was there... I started binging on I don't know..800-1000 calories, I purge and it felt SO GREATT..i know I sound like a fucked up person, but the feeling of emptiness the feeling of control and I don't know..it felt good for once. After that I went to a party and I had a piece of pizza with a handful of fries..ughughugh -- I couldn't purge since it was an "outside party" So tomorrow ill go running and restrict again. I can't recover, well fully recover if you know what I mean
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